


so this is how the badder half lives

by redreaper86



Category: DC Extended Universe, Justice League (2017), The Batman (Movie 2021)
Genre: Adorable Barry Allen, Barry Allen Needs a Hug, Couch Cuddles, Cuddling & Snuggling, Flash (DCU) Played by Ezra Miller, Fluff and Humor, I didn't even know these tags existed, Implied Sexual Content, Love at First Sight, Lust at First Sight, M/M, Making Out, Mild Sexual Content, OT3, Penguin (DCU) Played by Colin Farrell, Pining Barry Allen, Polyamory, Protective Edward Nygma, Protective Oswald Cobblepot, Riddler (DCU) Played by Paul Dano, SO MUCH TEASING, Sexual Humor, Sleepy Cuddles, Teasing, Threesome - M/M/M, hero/villain relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:07:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28473654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redreaper86/pseuds/redreaper86
Summary: Barry Allen takes a job as a maintenance guy for the Iceberg Lounge and the Riddle Factory, the respective evil lairs of the most notorious supervillain couple in Gotham, the Penguin and the Riddler. The job comes with free room and board at Cobblepot Manor.What Barry did not expect was to fall in love with the two villains. And he really, really did not expect them to love him back...Nevertheless, that's what happened.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Edward Nygma, Barry Allen/Oswald Cobblepot, Barry Allen/Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma, Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Comments: 28
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [foggys_cupcake_girl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/foggys_cupcake_girl/gifts).



> I hope you all enjoy my very first OT3 fic. And a big thank you to foggys_cupcake_girl who got me loving dceu Flash, shipping riddleflashpenguin, and came up with the adorable nickname of 'Sparkplug' <3

“Riddle me this, Sparkplug. Have you ever had sex in a ‘66 Ford Mustang Coupe?”

This question was lobbed at Barry as the young hero rode shotgun next to the Riddler himself, who was driving the aforementioned restored classic car, which was a gorgeous shimmering green just like the villain’s custom-made suit.

_How_ , Barry thought, _did I end up here?_ It was a rhetorical question, he knew, because he was all too aware of how he ended up in his current situation: about to take a Jack-of-all-trades job from the Riddler and the Penguin themselves, which paid forty dollars an hour, including free room and board at Cobblepot Manor.

Money had led Barry to this. Or, more specifically, the glaring lack of it had done. Barry was not only the youngest member of the Justice League -- he was also the poorest, by a very long shot. It had gotten so bad that he was one missed rent payment away from being homeless and none of his supposed super-friends in the JL were even offering to help. (Not that they knew and not that Barry would accept any of their handouts if they did.) 

So he was out to do some honest physical labour (evil lair maintenance) for two of Gotham’s most notorious villains, who also happened to be seeing each other romantically -- a fact Barry just found out on this car ride with the Riddler. He was actually quite surprised at his extreme lack of knowledge about two of his closest JL colleague’s greatest foes. When he’d done a quick Google Search on Batman, he’d only skimmed the list of the Dark Knight’s villains and his first fleeting thought had been that they all were way too arbitrary and weird to be real people, let alone pose a threat to Batman.

But here, riding shotgun with the Riddler, Barry realized not only was Edward Nygma a real person, who in fact did have an evil lair called the Riddle Factory where people actually did have to answer riddles correctly or suffer the oftentimes painful, always humiliating, sometimes even deadly, consequences -- but the enigmatic villain was also shamelessly flirting with him.

Barry gulped. “Um, no,” he said, fighting off his blush as he answered Edward’s provocative question. “I can’t say that I have.”

“You really ought to try it sometime,” Edward glanced at him sidelong, a tiny smirk playing about his lips. “There’s nothing else like it.”

Barry couldn’t help himself: “Have you, ever?”

The other man’s smirk grew to a full-on shit-eating grin. “Have I ever… _what_ , Sparkplug?” he drawled in a sugary sweet tone that made Barry’s insides squirm and face grow hot.

“You know…” Barry knew he was just playing into Edward’s hands by humouring him, but, damn it, he was curious and this might be his one and only chance to get a glimpse of how the badder half lived. “…had sex in this car?”

The incorrigible man let out a scandalized gasp that would have put a Dowager Countess to shame. “Young man! What a question to ask of your future employer!”

Barry’s stomach dropped. Ed snorted.

“Of course I have,” he giggled. “Me and Ozzie fucked on every one of these seats when he first got me this baby. And on the hood of the car.”

Barry tried to keep a straight face. It was a mammoth task. “When did he get it for you?” he asked, proud of how steady his voice was. Seriously, he should’ve won a medal or something.

“On our first anniversary,” Edward murmured, his tone growing softer, more serious. “We’ve been together seventeen years now.”

“Holy shit,” Barry blurted out.

“I know,” Ed threw him a smirk. “You would’ve been still in diapers then.”

“ _Hey_!” Barry protested, highly offended. “I’m twenty-three now so I would’ve been, like, six back then.”

“You were a six-year-old still in diapers?” Edward teased. “Wow, Sparkplug, I’d keep that to yourself if I were you.”

Barry grinned in spite of himself. “You’re an asshole, you know.”

“I’m aware,” Ed said blithely. 

Barry snuck a glance at the older man’s profile. Edward was by no means conventionally handsome but his looks were pleasingly delicate, almost ethereal, and the sparkly purple eye-mask he wore made him look quite dashing…

_Wow_ , Barry thought, tearing his gaze away before Edward noticed. _Am I attracted to the freakin’ Riddler_?

The rest of the car ride, Barry remained quiet, content to let Edward prattle on about anything and everything under the sun -- all the while Barry tried to get the image of the Penguin and the Riddler having sex on the hood of this car out of his head.

Needless to say, he was wildly unsuccessful at that.


	2. Chapter 2

"Holy shit," Barry exclaimed for the second time that day, staring at Cobblepot Manor as Edward drove the Mustang around the huge paved driveway. "Did you accidentally drive through a time portal into Ireland?"

Barry was half-joking when he said this, but for real -- the estate was all soft rolling hills so perfect and green they looked like fondant for a Saint Patrick's Day cake. And there was that freakin' fairytale castle looking like something out of a Bronte novel...

"Oswald would love to hear you say that," Edward said, parking the car in front of the steps of the Manor. "He went through a lot of expense to make this place look like his native homeland."

One more thing Barry didn't know about the Penguin, er -- Oswald, was that the latter was Irish. He was learning new things about the two villains all the time, and everything he learned just made them more real to him, which made him want to get to know them all the more. Barry shook his head to clear it as he got out of the car. He was here to work, to make a living -- not fanboy over supervillains.

He sucked in a breath as Edward came around the side of the car and stood beside him, holding his phone. "Ozzie saw us pull in," Edward said, smiling at his phone. "He's coming out to meet us. Oh, and, Sparkplug?"

Barry gasped again as Edward cupped his chin, forcing him to look up to him. "Try not to get a boner when you see him."

"Um..." Barry tried to look serious. "Right. No boner. Will do."

Edward shot him a you-don't-know-what-you're-in-for smirk before releasing Barry's chin to glance up the steps, his smug smile growing. Barry followed Ed's gaze up the steps --

And despite Ed's warning, the delectable sight he was greeted with caused him to harden in his jeans. Because --

Oswald Cobblepot, the Penguin, was standing at the top of the stairs wearing nothing but a kilt and Doc Marten ankle boots.

"Ozzie, are you _trying_ to kill me?" Edward swooned dramatically against Barry. Barry felt like swooning himself, staring at Oswald's half-naked body: those broad shoulders, that barrel chest, those thick arms with Celtic-looking designs tattooed around the biceps and, most importantly, that big round belly...

Barry had never thought that kind of body would appeal to him but apparently it did. He was learning a lot about himself today and one thing was for sure -- he was quickly falling madly in lust with not one but two major baddies.

As Edward skipped up the steps to greet his scantily-clad bird, Barry quickly looked away before he grew any redder (or harder). He tried to rationalize his sudden attraction to the two most notorious rogues in Batman's roster. Did he have some kind of supervillain fetish? He didn't think so...he hadn't been remotely attracted to Captain Boomarang or Steppenwolf or the Joker...

His thoughts were derailed by a shriek of laughter from Edward. His gaze found them once more and he saw that Oswald had tossed Edward over his shoulder. He looked like some sort of barbarian conqueror carrying a very sparkly green captive. Barry wondered if Oswald were his kilt in the true Irish fashion -- with no underwear underneath.

Edward caught Barry staring and crowed: "Ozzie! The kid's trying to look up your skirt!"

"I am not!" Barry said, blushing with guilt.

Oswald roared with laughter and Barry felt his face turn even hotter.

"Why not?" Edward demanded, sounding playfully offended. "I'm about to sneak myself a peek --" And he pretended to try to hike Oswald's kilt up, only to squawk as Oswald gave him an awkward swat on his upraised rear.

"Behave yourself," Oswald said to Edward, then he turned his dark eyes to Barry and held out his free hand. "Barry, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine, Mister Cobblepot," Barry said, shaking Oswald's hand, relieved that his blush was starting to cool.

Until Edward piped up: "The pleasures are all under this Catholic schoolgirl uniform -- ouch!" he yelped as Oswald smacked him again.

"Do I have to turn you over my knee in front of our guest?"

"Company's never stopped you before," Edward said, then, addressing Barry: "He once gave me an OTK spanking right in the middle of a party at the Iceberg Lounge."

"What, _why_?" Barry blurted out, astonished. He couldn't imagine going through such a public humiliation, but to his immense frustration, he felt a stirring deep in his stomach as he imagined being bent over the Penguin's knee in front of a soiree full of villains getting spanked like a child... ( _Holy shit, what am I thinking?_ ) Then he imagined having the Riddler's lean body draped over his own lap, the rush of dominating such a powerful man... ( _Fuck it all, I need to stop with these crazy fantasies!_ )

"Because it was his birthday," Oswald answered, smirking as though he knew exactly what Barry was thinking, "and that was what he asked for. You can call me Oswald, by the way, kiddo."

The kindness in this simple little term of endearment made Barry go weak at the knees. "Sure thing...Oswald."

"Come on, Barry," Oswald said, turning to go back into the house, still toting Ed over his shoulder. "We'll show you to your room."

"You both...will show me to my room -- okay..." Barry babbled under his breath as he followed them inside. He tended to babble when he got nervous or anxious and it often gave people the wrong idea about him. That he was a ditz or a douche or something. And the more he tried to make good first impressions, the more he seemed to mess them up.

But even though he knew Oswald and Ed were villains, he still wanted to impress them. He wanted them to like him and miss him when he would eventually go 

Barry bit his lip as he watched Oswald set Ed down and playfully pull him in for a kiss.

He didn't want to think about leaving.


	3. Chapter 3

After an amazing night’s sleep in a bed that had to have been as big as his living room back at his Central City apartment, Barry got ready for his first work-day. He’d gotten up early at six am, grabbed some uncooked pop-tarts from his backpack, and hurried out the door where a red pick-up truck was idling, with one of the Penguin’s goons at the wheel, ready to drive Barry to the Iceberg Lounge.

Barry scrambled into the front passenger seat, brushing some crumbled up paper McDonalds bags out of his way first.

“So you the new maintenance guy?” the driver asked Barry without looking at him, as he drove off before Barry could even fasten his seatbelt. 

“Uh, yeah,” Barry said, trying to place the man. The goon had cropped platinum blond hair, dead black eyes, scruffy stubble, gold teeth and -- hundreds and hundreds of little scars all over his skin, crisscrossing each other. Tally marks for every life he had taken. “Nice to meet you, Mister Zsasz,” Barry said, feeling the need to be polite to the most prolific serial killer in Gotham (which was really saying something).

“Wait ’til you get to know me, kid,” Zsasz remonstrated, putting a cigarette in his mouth as he turned out of the driveway and onto the road. “You won’t think it’s so nice to meet me then.”

Barry gulped. “So, how long you been working for the Penguin?” he asked, falling back into his old habit of making small talk when he got nervous. He couldn’t help it -- he hated awkward silences, even though some of the ridiculous things that spilled from his mouth often caused them. 

“Going on a couple years now,” Zsasz said easily, the smoke from his cigarette floating out the open window. “The Big Boss is the best person I’ve ever worked for. I used to work for Roman Sionis -- you know, the Black Mask -- but when we started going out it became way too awkward. And the Medium Boss is okay, when he’s not asking dumb riddles all the time.”

Barry quickly understood that ‘Big Boss’ and ‘Medium Boss’ were Zsasz’s names for Oswald and Ed respectively. He wondered if Oswald and Ed ever had a kid if Zsasz would call the child ‘Baby Boss.’ 

“Yeah, they seem really nice for bad guys,” Barry said, without thinking. He winced but Zsasz wasn’t offended at all.

“Yeah, of all the rogues, they’ve been together the longest,” Zsasz said. “They met in 2003. The Medium Boss would’ve been around your age -- how old are you?”

“Twenty-three.”

“Oh, then he was way younger than you -- he was barely legal,” Zsasz waved his hand dismissively and Barry felt oddly flattered that he was so much older than 2003 Ed. “Eighteen, nineteen. Total brat, he stole the Penguin’s car.” (Barry noted how Zsasz’s verbiage changed as he talked about 2003 Oswald, going from referring to him as “The Big Boss,” to “The Penguin.”) “It was the ‘66 Ford Mustang Coupe the Riddler drives around now. Anyway, the Penguin chased him down and finally cornered him in the Gotham City junk yard. And the fucker was just draped across the hood of the Mustang like he was waiting for the Penguin to show up. And you know what the little shit’s first words to him were?”

“What?” Barry asked because Zsasz expected him to.

“‘You’re kind of an idiot, you know that, right?’”

“Uhm…” Barry said, stung.

“Those were the Riddler’s first words to the Penguin,” Zsasz clarified, laughing. “‘You’re kind of an idiot, you know that, right?’”

“ _Ohh_ …” Barry said, relief sluicing his veins as he laughed too.

“Hell of a pick-up line,” Zsasz continued, still chuckling as he pulled into the staff parking lot behind the Iceberg Lounge. “But it worked because the Penguin grabbed him and they both started kissing and one thing led to another…it ended with them banging right on the hood of the car. And the rest, as they say,” Zsasz put the truck in park and turned off the engine, “is history.”

“Wow,” Barry said. It was redundant, but he couldn’t find any other word that captured the magnitude, the epic-ness, of Oswald and Edward’s love story.

“Yeah, ‘wow,’” Zsasz said, apparently in wholehearted agreement with Barry’s awe. “Love like that is hard to come by, especially in this hellhole of a city. Needless to say, kid,” Zsasz looked at Barry full on for the first time, “if you tell either of them I told you all this…

“I’ll slice that pretty face of yours clean off.” The scarred killer smiled at Barry disarmingly. “’Kay?”

Barry nodded as he got out of the truck, more than a little shaken. What the hell kind of crowd had he gotten himself into?


	4. Chapter 4

Barry jerked his head up, narrowly escaping face-planting in his dinner-plate of goulash for the fifth time in a row.

"You don't look so good, kiddo," Oswald said softly.

"You okay, Sparkplug?" Edward asked.

_Yeah, I'm peachy_ , Barry thought grumpily. _I'm madly in love with not only you but your boyfriend. I know you two have been together for almost the entire time I've been alive, but I don't care. It doesn't matter to me that you're bad guys and I'm a hero. We're all human. I love both of you and I want you both to love me back_.

"Just a little beat," Barry answered, trying to smile for them but he couldn't quite manage. Not only was he feeling completely blue about being in unrequited love with two of the most amazing people he'd ever met but he was also dog-ass tired. He'd had a hell of a first workday: as soon as Zsasz found out Barry had speed powers, the goon had whipped out a list of chores longer than a gorilla's arm. The upside was both the Iceberg Lounge and the Riddle Factory were in tip-top shape -- both evil lairs better than new, in fact.

Barry, though? Barry's heart? Not so much.

"Whoa!" Oswald and Ed said together as Barry's sleepy head nearly collided with his dinner again.

"Zsasz seriously overworked you," Oswald said grimly, getting out of his chair, Ed following suit. "I'm going to have a talk with him."

"No, please don't get mad at him," Barry mumbled, trying to keep his eyes open. "It was my fault, I didn't tell him how tired I was getting --"

"Zsasz does have the brain of a dog," Ed agreed, coming around the table to Barry's chair, Oswald following right behind him. "Actually, that's an insult to dogs. You have to tell him the most basic of things, Sparkplug. And you definitely have to let him know if he's working you too hard. Preferably with a rolled up newspaper."

Barry laughed painfully. How could he ever go back to Central City, to his tiny empty life and live alone again? Without Os and Ed? The answer was simple: he couldn't. _Maybe they'll kidnap me_ , he thought hopefully. _Like me up in their dungeon -- a castle like this_ has _to have a dungeon -- and never let me go_.

"Right, that's it," Oswald said and Barry's heart rose. ( _Was this it? Dungeon time?_ ) "We're taking you to bed."

( _Even better!_ )

"We'll even tuck you in, little Sparkplug," Edward teased.

( _Oh. My bed. Not your guys's bed_.)

Barry couldn't stay too disappointed, though. Not when Oswald scooped him up right out of his chair and held him close to his (now) fully clothed chest. Barry was grudgingly thankful that the Penguin was now wearing a suit because if Oswald had been dressed in his previous attire: a kilt, sans shirt, Barry was certain he'd've died from all the sexy. As it was now, the young hero was still barely holding himself together as he felt Oswald's strong arms lifting him, Ed's delicate fingertips brushing a stray lock of hair out of his face.

He felt himself drifting off as Oswald carried him up the stairs, his face firmly nudged into the crook of the older man's neck. He must've dozed on the way up, because he woke up a little when the soft mattress pressed against his back as Oswald laid him down in his bed.

"Ngh...don't go..." Barry whimpered sleepily, trying to hold on to Oswald's shoulders with one arm, Edward's with the other. He was reminded painfully of his parents: when they would put him to bed as a little boy -- back when his mom was alive and his dad wasn't in jail (though what that said about him, when he wanted to have sex with Os and Ed, he had no idea). "Stay with me...both of you..."

"Shh-shh, little one, we're here," Oswald whispered, gently taking hold of Barry's wrists and placing them on his chest before pulling the feather tick up over him.

"We're not going anywhere, Sparkplug," Edward murmured, tracing Barry's jaw with his fingertips, causing the younger man to keen softly and lean into his touch. "We'll always be here for you, okay?"

Barry wanted to say more, tell them how much he loved them, but he was so tired and the warm, powerful bodies on either side of him felt so good... He felt the first wave of delicious drowsiness with over him. The room seemed to sway gently like ocean waves. Barry twitched at the faux-movement, adrenaline zapping through his limbs, then he was hit with the terrible fear that he might spaz out in super-speed in his sleep and accidentally hurt his beloved pet villains --

Then a lean arm draped over his stomach from his left and a heavier arm followed suit from his right.

And Barry didn't feel like he was falling anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

After a much easier second day at work (Barry was sure Oswald or Ed, probably both of them at once, had given Zsasz a stern talking-to about overworking him yesterday), Barry was just about to go up to his room, have a shower and chill when he heard some telltale moans and kissing sounds coming from the den that drew Barry’s gaze like a magnet --

His heart did a pirouette at what he saw -- the Penguin and the Riddler making out like a pair of teenagers on the leather couch in front of the fireplace. And as though his forbidden gaze made itself felt, Oswald and Edward each unsuctioned their lips from the other, and looked up at him, their cheeks flushed, their eyes sparkling.

“Are you gonna just stand there staring at us, kiddo?” Oswald asked, his voice musical with pent up laughter. “Or will you be joining us?”

Edward tilted his head at Barry teasingly.

Barry’s stomach fluttered like a thousand angry butterflies were trapped inside. Well. This is what he’d been wanting so much, for, what, _two days_? Barry couldn’t believe his time in love with Oswald and Ed had only been forty-eight hours. It felt like a thousand years.

Barry swallowed hard and stalked bravely into the den towards his two villainous loves, who were grinning smugly up at him, like two cats who ate the cream. 

“I’ll be joining you.”

His blood rushing in his ears, Barry took one step after the other, closer and closer to the Dark Side. Was this how he’d go from hero to villain? Forbidden love? He didn’t think so, though. This, the love he felt for Ed and Os, felt -- amazing, for sure, but also right.

Ed’s hands shot out like striking cobras, seizing Barry by the belt loops of his jeans and yanking him into his lap. Barry let out a giddy laugh, seeing stars.

“Gotcha, Sparkplug,” Edward teased. 

Oswald pulled Edward and, by extension, Barry into his own lap. “We’re not letting you go now, little one,” he said to Barry. “You’re stuck with us.”

“I’m…” Barry blinked, his eyes stinging with tears, “…so glad…”

“Aww, don’t cry, baby,” Ed reached up and chucked Barry under the chin, causing the young hero to try to squirm away, giggling. Edward’s green eyes lit up with glee and Barry just had time to gasp before the Riddler’s fingers delved into his waist and wriggled there.

“Do-hon’t --” Barry squeaked, trying to keep his speed-powers under control. This was all cute and fun for the moment but if Barry accidentally flailed out in super-speed…he’d never forgive himself if he hurt Ed or Os. “Ple-hease, guys -- _fu-huck_!”

“That’s enough, Edward,” Oswald ordered sternly, grabbing Ed’s wrists, stopping the playful torture. 

Barry gulped in precious oxygen. “I just don’t wanna hurt either of you,” he gulped, shaking at the thought. “I love you both so much --”

“I’m sorry, Sparkplug,” Edward said, looking abashed. “I didn’t think.”

“For someone so smart, it’s frightening how often that is true, my love,” Oswald murmured in Edward’s ear. “Now I think you owe Barry a little more than an apology, hm?”

Barry watched in fascination as Ed blushed, pouted then said: “Yes, sir,” submissively. 

Oswald tightened his grip on Ed’s wrists. “Hey, kiddo,” he said to Barry, a conspiratorial smirk on his face, “go for his ribs.”

“No, Ozzie, don’t tell him tha --” Ed began, only let out a yelp of laughter as Barry jammed his fingers into Ed’s ribcage, wriggling them viciously. Barry grinned, feeling deliciously evil as he tickled one of the most powerful villains in Gotham to tears. Trapped in the throes of a silent laugh, Edward flailed so hard he knocked both Oswald and himself onto their backs on the couch, which pulled Barry on top of them. 

Barry stopped tickling Ed and just stared down at his victim as Ed gasped and giggled, his eyelashes drenched and his cheeks flushed. Then, without warning --

Ed lifted his head up and locked his lips onto Barry’s. Barry let out a startled, muffled, utterly _adorable_ little squawk before his eyes fluttered closed and he moaned with pleasure as Ed’s tongue brushed gently, almost teasingly, against Barry’s lips which parted and…

Liquid heat pooled deep in Barry’s stomach as Ed’s hot, wet tongue pressed gently against his own.

Barry realized Oswald must’ve let go of Ed’s wrists because he could feel four hands caressing him: Oswald’s meaty calloused ones cupping his face and Edward’s slim smooth ones gripping his waist --

After a few moments, Barry broke the kiss, gasping for air. “Wow,” he said, then mentally winced. _Note to self, Barry_ , he chided himself, _expand your vocabulary because you’re starting to sound like Owen Wilson_.

His villainous boyfriends didn’t seem to mind Barry’s lack of loquaciousness, however. They just giggled and Edward said: “Would you like to kiss Ozzie now?”

Barry’s eyes went as round as saucers. “ _Can_ I?” he breathed, hardly daring to believe his luck. The Riddler’s murderous pettiness was legendary in Gotham. He’d kill someone if he so much as _thought_ they were even _trying_ to copy his riddle-leaving M.O., let alone kissing his boyfriend. 

But Ed just smiled sweetly at Barry now as he said, “We’re a package deal, baby. You get to kiss me, you get to kiss Ozzie.”

Barry glanced shyly at Oswald. Sure, Ed had technically given him permission to kiss him but what if Oswald didn’t want to? One look in Oswald’s fiery dark eyes told Barry the opposite was true. So he bent his head to Oswald and pressed his lips against the older man’s. 

Oswald’s kisses were slower, more calculating than Ed’s audacious, brazen ones. Barry’s heart sped up as he felt the scar on Oswald’s upper lip brush against his own plump, unmarred ones, again and again. Moans and gasps escaped Barry between the kisses -- his heart sped up and every drop of his blood made a beeline for his groin. 

“Guys…” Barry gasped, his long hair sweeping over the faces of his two villainous loves, both of whom were panting and keening every bit as much as he was, “…I’m gonna -- you know…” he blushed, ducking his head in between Oswald’s and Ed’s.

“‘Come?’” Oswald finished for him, laughing in Barry’s ear. “I’ve got news for you, love, so am I.”

“Ditto,” Ed breathed into Barry’s other ear. 

Then Barry came. His compact, wiry frame shuddered with the force of the orgasm. And from the way Oswald gasped and arched, and then Ed, it was clear both of them had, too.

Barry gave a small breathless laugh. “Sorry -- I just…I’ve never --” He’d never been with one guy before, let alone two. To say nothing of the fact that they were two bad guys.

“Don’t be sorry, Sparkplug,” Edward said seriously, kindly. Not making fun of Barry. “You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.” 

“Yeah, baby,” Oswald said, his tone subdued, calm, “this is just us all getting to know each other. There’ll be plenty of time for us three to figure out…everything.” Everything -- meaning Os and Ed’s love life and how Barry would fit into that. If now was any indicator, though, Barry felt he fit into the epic love of these two like…well, like Batman fit into his Bat-suit.

_Uh-oh_. Barry’s heart skipped a beat. The Justice League. What would they say when they found out?

Barry gulped, then giggled with the sheer hilarity of it all. 

“My friends are gonna _freak_ ,” he said, grinning. But he knew that the JL even as righteous as they were, wouldn’t stand in the way of his happiness or his physical and mental well-being, all of which took a sharp turn for the better when he was with Ed and Os. 

His heart bursting with happiness, Barry leaned down to kiss them again, his beautiful monsters. 

Ed and Os kissed him right back.


End file.
